Sonic Wars
by Vara Sundaisy
Summary: A Sonic parody of Star Wars. Sonikin Lightdasher, Kitsune Skyflyer, Queen Amydala, Knucksolo, and their friends try to save the galaxy from Emperor Eggman the Hutt and Darth Ultimate-Life-Form.
1. Attack of the Phantom Hedgehog

Yes, a Sonic parody of Star Wars. 'Nuff said! R & R please.  
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Sonic the Hedgehog and all related characters copyright by Sega Enterprises Inc. Star Wars (c) by Lucasfilm Ltd. Any sililarities between them are purely coincidental.  
(O.K., just kiddin.)  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
Not so long, long ago, in a videogame far, far away from its release date...   
  
A blue blur zipped by in his podracer, oblivious to a two-tailed fox about to be eaten by Perfect Chaos. "FOLLLOW MEEE..."  
"Sonikin???"  
"SET ME FREE..."  
"Sonikin!!"  
TRUUUUST ME AND WE WILL ESCAAAAPE FROM THE GALAXY..."  
"SON-I-KIN!!!! HELP MEEEE!!!"  
"Huh?" Sonikin Lightdasher turned his podracer back and noticed the fox's plight. "Uh-oh!" he said. "How can I turn into Super Sonic and beat up Perfect Chaos if I don't have the Chaos Emeralds with me?.... Huh????" The aquatic monster had already disintigrated into a puddle of water. "What happened?"  
"Sonikin!" cried the two-tailed fox. "Oh thankyouthankyouthankyou! You saved me! Your AWFUL off-key singing just tortured Perfect Chaos to death as you were passing by! Guess what! I owe you a life-debt now! Let me introduce myself. I'm Kitsune Skyflyer. And I have to stick with you for life!"  
Sonikin looked at the puddle of water that was once Perfect Chaos. "Hey, whazzup with this? It had the seven Chaos Emeralds... now they're all gone. I have to get back on the road and find them!" He turned around to the podracer... which promptly broke down. "Oh no!"  
" 'S okay," yapped Kitsune. "I'll take care of this!" He ran over to the podracer, looked it over, and had it fixed in less than thirty seconds.   
"Whoa!" cried Sonikin.  
"Whoa!" cried a strange-looking blue flying thing. "That kid has amazing natural mechanical abilities... or is it something to do with... THE G-FORCE???"  
"Who are you?"  
"I'm Yodachao. See ya!" And he flew off.  
" 'K that was weird," muttered Sonikin. "Well, now I can ride this podracer back to get the missing Chaos Emeralds!"  
"Not necessarily," said Kitsune. "You can RUN faster than that old jalopy can HOVER!"  
"Oh yeah... that's right!"   
"According to these computer readouts..." Kitsune pulled out a laptop and typed a few keys, "... the Chaos Emeralds are to the west, in Station Square!"  
"Then let's juice!"  
The hedgehog and the fox were running through the desert when they bumped into a strange white glittery thing... {Play Tikal theme} Then a hologram of a teen girl echidna appeared to them in a blinding flash of light. Sonikin and Kitsune were fascinated. "Help me, I beg of you!" pleaded Princess Tikal. "You're my only hope." Then it replayed. And replayed. And replayed.  
"I'm getting bored," said Tails.  
"Wow!" said Sonic. "She's beautiful! But is there anything more to the message?"  
Tikal dissolved into a white glittery ball again. "THIS WAY!"  
"Cool beans," said Sonic. "She's heading for Station Square! I bet this has to do with the missing Chaos Emeralds!"  
  
And it did... [Play Boss Music]  
A black hedgehog, dark and mysterious like a phantom, strode down a long hallway, and many long lines of GUN robots bowed down to him. Except one, at the very end of the line.  
"HEY YOU!" shouted the black hedgehog. "BOW TO ME! (hawwwhuhaaawwhuhawwww)"  
"Or what?" sassed the robot.  
"Or you're gonna get it!"  
"HOW? You can't catch me, you're at the other end if the building!"  
"Your lack of faith disturbs me! CHAOS CONTROL!" An in the snap of a finger, the black hedgehog was over next to the insubordinate robot. Before it could protest, the evil hedgehog spin-dashed it and then nonchalantly picked up the Chaos Drive. "(haawwwwhuhaaawwwhuhaaaaaaw) Shoot! Another yellow one! And I was collecting red ones for my Dragon Chao!" He dashed to the end of the hallway and to the platform, standing tall and dark and sinister. "In case you don't know, I am Darth Ultimate Life Form! (haaawwwwhuhaaaaawhuhaaawww)Grrr! How can I make a decent speech with my throat problems I got from a stunt accident in my last movie?! Anyways, everybody, I have orders from Emperor Eggman the Hut himself. We are done with the main construction of the Death Egg and we even have the seven Chaos Emeralds for once, which I MYSELF teleported from Perfect Chaos! But... This Death Egg is so powerful it needs them PLUS the Master Emerald to run, so in a while I have to leave for Station Square!" He stepped off the podium and walked out the room. The robots near that end of the hallway heard him whisper in a longing, melancholy voice, "Stacy..."  
"Stacy?" said one GUN robot after Shadow had closed the door. "I thought it was Maria! Who's Stacy?"  
  
[Play Station Square theme]  
Sonikin Lightdasher and Kitsune Skyflyer had arrived Station Square-- a city full of people, animals, badniks, cars, and buildings. Sonikin had been here before. It was no big deal. But the naive Kitsune had never seen such a place. "WOW!" he said. "I've never been to a city before- except my home village, but they banished me for being clumsy."   
"Uh-oh," said Sonikin. "Maybe I shouldn't have let you tag along. Be careful here! Stay outta trouble, ya hear?"  
Then another voice yelled "SONIKIN!!! I knew you'd come!"  
"Oh no!" groaned Sonikin. "Looks like I have another sidekick to join my quest."  
"Who's she?" asked Kitsune, looking at the pink hedgehog in front of him.   
[Play Amy's Theme]  
"Why, I'm Queen Amydala!" she squealed in a totally ditzy voice. She twirled around, jumped up, and did a curtsy. "Don't you just LOOOVVVVEEEE my new hairdo?"  
"Uhhhh," stammered Sonikin. "It... definately stands out."  
"Anyways, I came to ask you for help. I'm the Queen of the Little Planet, and it's being attacked! I need you to save my planet, Sonikin!"  
"That stinks," said Sonikin. "But I'm on another mission already. I have to recover the Chaos Emeralds and rescue a beautiful princess. I'll have to save your planet later. I have an important business meeting to arrange for transportation out into space. "  
"Can I at least come with you? Please? Pretty pleeeeease???"  
"OK. Watch Kitsune for me. Make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble!"  
  
[Play Casino Night music]  
Sonic walked into the Mos Eisley Casino. "My old rival Knucksolo has been everywhere in that space jalopy of his," he thought. "He should know something about this mystery."   
He saw Knucksolo sitting at his usual table with his sidekick, Chewbigga the huge purple cat. Only this time, they were facing Emperor Eggman the Hutt. "You know you owe me big-time, red!" threatened Eggman. "Specifically, you owe me a JEWEL! Hand it over!"  
"No!" replied Knucksolo. "I am the Guardian of the Millenium Floatie. I cannot give up the Master Emerald that powers it!"  
"I'm warning you... this is the last time you'll show me up! Because I'm going to hire the infamous bounty hunter Boba Fang to chase you down!" Eggman waddled out of the building, and Sonikin walked over.  
"Hey, Knucks. Whats up? How's it going? Still the most-wanted rogue in the galaxy? You definately showed Eggman who calls the shots here at Station Square!"  
"Quit sucking up and get to the point," replied Knucksolo. "What do you want from me?"  
"Well... I'll need to borrow the Millenium Floatie. Do you know a beautiful princess somewhere out in space who needs help?"  
"Hmmm. You're talking about Princess Tikal. She's being held captive in Emperor Eggman's new project, the Death Egg, which happens to be capable of blowing up entire planets," replied the echidna casually.  
"WHOA! We have to get onto this right away!"  
"Normally I don't like to save the galaxy for the sake of saving the galaxy... but Princess Tikal is rich so I might as well help you. But can't you use one of my other ships?"  
"No! It has to be the legendary Millenium Floatie!" insisted Sonikin.  
"I'll make a bet with you then. I'll challenge you to a Kart Race on Route 280. If I win, you go home. If you win, I'll let you have the honors of taking my baby to the Death Egg. Hey, I'll even be the pilot for you."  
"I wonder how Kitsune is doing," thought the blue hedgehog.   
  
"Kitsune!" cried Amydala. "Look out!"  
The hapless little fox had wandered into a circus tent at the Twinkle Park zone and bumped into an elephant, who promptly passed gas. "Eww! Yucky! Yucky! Peeyoo!" he yelped.  
"What's with the crude humor?" snapped Amydala.  
"Maybe to lighten up the story because of all the battle scenes and stuff," offered Kitsune.  
"BATTLE SCENES?!"  
"Oops, better not spoil the story for the readers... WHOOPS!" Kitsune crashed into a hot dog stand and knocked everything over. A chili dog catapulted into the air and -SPLAT!- landed right on Knucksolo's face!  
"This is my warm reception?" groaned the echidna.  
"Looks like it," commented Chewbigga.   
"Yeah!" said Sonikin, eating the chili dog off Knucksolo's face. "Hey Kitsune. We've been looking all over for you," he said between munches. The echidna ran off to wash his face when Sonikin explained the situation. "If we can beat Knucksolo in a kart race on Route 280, we'll be able to complete our mission. Problem is, I left my podracer behind and I'll be needing some help!"  
"I'll find someone!" cried Queen Amydala. "Hey, Gamma!"  
One of the maintenance robots walked over. "BEEEPPP BEEP BEPP BLIP BRRREP!"  
"That's my old friend R2D2 Gamma," explained Amydala. "He used to be one of Emperor Eggman's robots until he regained his free will. Also he used to be able to talk, but then there was another one of those stunt accidents, and so all he can do now is make these beeping noises. He'll help us, won't you, Gamma?"  
"BEEEPP BRREE REEP!"  
"Don't worry," said Kitsune. "I have my own race kart, the Whirlwind S7. With all its gizmos and gadgets, none of you will be able to figure it out, but that's okay. I'll race it for you, Sonikin!"  
"Okay," replied the blue hedgehog, although he was unsure.  
  
The next morning they got ready for the race. R2D2 Gamma helped Kitsune get the Whirlwind S7 ready to drive. "Yodachao was right," thought Sonikin. "No 8-year-old is that good a mechanic. He does have certain powers. But whatever is the G-Force?"   
"It's ready to go," announced Kitsune. "Maybe I'll actually finish this race!"  
"You mean you've never even FINISHED a race?!" cried Amydala.  
"Nope. I keep falling down those dang holes in the road or driving off the edge and falling in the water. Not to mention I'm too young to take Drivers Ed. But don't worry! I can beat that level this time!"  
"M-maybe you should let me drive!" said Sonikin.  
"No time! Knucksolo's coming now! The race starts in just a little bit!"  
Kitsune and Knucksolo got into their race karts and got up to the starting line. Three, two, one, go! They tore off.   
"Go go go Kitsune!" yelled Queen Amydala.  
"GO KNUCKSOLO!" bellowed Chewbigga.  
Sonikin watched nervously as Kitsune struggled to keep up with the red echidna. The young fox barely dodged the holes and swerve on the sharp turns, bumping into the walls as he went. "Good thing it's not Hard Mode," he thought.  
Then, Kitsune swerved wildly and rammed into the president's limo.  
"HEY!"  
"Oops! Heheh! Sorry Mr. President!"   
The president of Station Square picked up his car phone. "Police! Stop that drag racer! NOW!"  
In a matter of seconds, a bunch of black and white cars with flashing lights were driving after Kitsune. The little foz was scared. "WHOA!" he yelped, slamming the accelerator and speeding past Knucksolo, crossing the finish line first.   
"Yeehaaawww!" yelled Sonikin. "Looks like I won this bet! That G-Force rocks!"  
"G-Force whatever," muttered Knucksolo. "But you're right, you sorta won, you cheated, we said nothing about getting extra help, but okay, you WON! Let's all pile into the Millenium Floatie and go to the Death Egg!"  
Knucksolo led them to his property. "I'm only bringing these idiots on this space chase because I want to get away from Emperor Eggman and get the Master Emerald outta here," he told Chewbigga. "But I'm not telling them that!"  
Sonikin, Kitsune, Amydala, and R2D2 Gamma followed them to Knucksolos's back yard with his private pool and pool toys, including a huge inflatable space ship. "Sweet pool toy!" remarked Sonikin. "I guess Star Wars merchandise is still popular. Now where is the great Millenium Floatie?"  
"This IS the Millenium Floatie!" said Knucksolo indignantly.   
"You're trying to tell me we're going to fly to the Death Egg and save the universe in some 5-year-old's BATH TOY?!"  
Knucksolo took personal offense. "Don't insult my baby," he said. "She's lasted me many years and won many battles and saved my life. I wouldn't call her Floatie if she wasn't. Yeah, it's not every day that you see a pool toy that can tear through space at warp speed, but THIS baby is powered by the Master Emerald!"  
Knucksolo made Chewbigga, R2D2 GAmma, Amydala, and Kitsune get inside. But Sonikin said, "Wait! What's that shadow I see approaching us in the distance? Whatever it is, it's just as fast as me!"  
The red schidna recognized Eggman's servant and got very worried. "Sonikin! You idiot! Get in here!"  
"But I have to know what that is! I sense a strong disturbance in the G-Force!"  
"Screw the G-Force! Get in! NOW!" But Sonikin stood there. Cussing under his breath, Knuckles took off.  
"WAIT!" cried Sonikin. "WE HAD A DEAL!!!"  
[Play Boss Music] But it was too late. Now he was alone, face to face with the dark, evil, phantom-like hedgehog. "Your adventuring days are over! (Hawwwwwwhuuuhhaaaaawwwwhuuuu) For I am Darth Ultimate Life Form!"  
"And I am Darth Could-Care-Less," replied our blue hero. "Actually, I am Sonikin Lightdasher, but that's beside the point. I have a mission!"  
"And your mission shall fail!"  
The two hedgehogs fought. Spin Dash, Light Dash, Homing Attack... Darth Ultimate Life Form matched Sonikin move for move. "Chaos Control!" The dark hedgehog warped to Sonikin, punched him, and scattered his rings. He had no more left, while Darth Ultimate Life Form's hit point gauge was healthy and still nearly full. "Stacy would have been proud of me (haaaaawhuuuuuhaaaaaahu)!"  
Sonikin realized he would be dead unless he got lucky...  
  
"Come on, Knucks!" begged Kitsune. "I owe a life-debt to Sonikin. I promised to protect him and let nothing happen to him!"  
"I understand Kitsune!" meowed Chewbigga. "I owe a life-debt to you too! I know how he feels!"  
"Pleasepleaseplease turn back and get him!" begged the fox again. "R2D2 Gamma, what do you think?"  
"BrrrrEEEPEEEPPEEEEP!"  
"See? He agrees with me!"  
Queen Amydala was crying. "Save Sonikin! Please! Boohhoooohooo I want my cutey pie back pretty please!"  
"You don't know how important the Master Emerald is," replied Knucksolo condescendingly. "I know you want Sonikin to ride with us, but I think he'll take care of himself back down on Planet Mobius. We just can't make decisions based on emotion now."  
Queen Amydala stopped crying and just got mad. "I am the Queen!" she huffed. "And my orders must be obeyed! I WANT MY CUTIE PIE BACK!!!" Whack! She hit Knucksolo on the head with her Pico Pico hammer.  
"OW! Okay, Okay, I'll get turn back and pick up the hedgehog!"  
  
"(Haaahuuuuuhaaaaaaawwwhuuu) Now you will DIE!" Darth Ultimate Life Form was about to finish off Sonikin with a Homing Attack when the Millenium Floatie, with the bottom hatch open, hovered just over them.  
"Hey kid!" yelled Knucksolo. "Get your tail over here!"  
"Awesome!" Sonikin bounced up to the escape hatch and got inside. The black hedgehog was about to jump in after him, but Knucksolo quickly shut the door on him. Wham! Darth Ultimate Life Form bounced back down to the Mobius desert sands, throwing a tantrum as the Millenium Floatie rose into space and disappeared among the stars.  
  
"Whew!" gasped Sonikin, covered with makeup and lipstick after he had finally managed to pry Amydala off of him. "We're all together! All six of us! Knucksolo, I owe you one!"  
"Sure do, kid," replied the echidna from the cockpit. "Now to get to your little G-Force weird mission thingie!"  
The six heroes braced themselves for a wild adventure and headed for the Death Egg.   
  
To Be Continued... 


	2. A New Dope

SONIC WARS Chapter 2: A New Dope  
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Not so long ago, in a videogame far, far away from its  
release date...  
  
Sonikin  
Lightdasher  
has received a call  
for help by Princess Tikal  
in Chapter 1. On the way to find  
more information from the rogue echidna  
Knucksolo, he is joined by Kitsune Skyflyer,  
Queen Amydala, Chewbigga, and R2D2 Gamma.   
  
Evil Emperor Eggman the Hutt and his mysterious  
minion Darth Ultimate Life Form are out to stop them.  
Sonikin Lightdasher barely escapes from the dark hegehog  
and the six friends all head out to rescue the princess   
from the Death Egg where she is supposedly held captive.  
  
With the power of the G-Force, these bold friends must save the  
galaxy...  
  
  
  
"Are we there yet?" yapped Kitsune.  
  
"For the last time, kid, quit asking!" snapped Knucksolo.   
  
"But we ARE alnost there! It's dead ahead...see???"  
  
Sonikin Lighdasher looked up from his Star Wars Collectors magazine   
and looked out the window of the cockpit. The Death Egg! That thing was   
capable of destroying entire planets! And poor Princess Tikal was being  
detained there!   
  
"Hey you blue dude!" yelled Knucksolo. "Quit looking over my   
shoulder!"  
  
"Uh huh, don't annoy da boss, he has to get us over dere safe!"  
drawled Big the Cat.   
  
"Yeah, watch it kid, there's a trapdoor under your foot and if  
I just pull this latch, you'll fall down waywaywaywaywaywayway down!"  
  
"But according to the laws of matter, there is no gravity in  
space, thus Sonikin will not fall but hang in space," yipped Kitsune.  
  
"That's a comforting thought," said the blue hedgehog  
sarcastically.  
  
"This kid is way too smart!" complained Knucksolo.  
  
"Ya, really!" cried Amydala.  
  
"I'm just at one with the G-Force," shrugged the little fox.  
  
"G-Force, whatever," scoffed Knucksolo. "I don't go for all  
that superstitious jargon."  
  
"That 'superstitious jargon' is the force that controls the whole  
universe," reprimanded Sonic. "Shoot. I hate these roles. I mean, in the   
games, I was the carefree rebel dude with the 'tude and YOU were the   
frumpy, serious, mystic-minded guy-sitting-on-a-hill."  
  
"Hey!" growled Knucksolo.  
  
"Would you boys QUIT FIGHTING?!" snapped Amydala.  
  
"Nobody asked for your opinion, Your Worship," snapped Kitsune.   
  
* * * * *  
  
Meanwhile...  
[Play "Boss Theme"]  
Emperor Eggman the Hutt and Darth Ultimate Life Form had recruited  
a new dope to their team. Boba Fang, the weasel bounty hunter.  
  
"I need you to track down Knucksolo and have him bring me the   
emerald," said Eggman. "I promised that echidna my revenge for defying  
me at the Mos Eisley Casino. There will be a handsome reward for his   
capture."  
  
"(HAAAAAAAHUUUUUUHAAAAAAHUUUUHAAA) You heard the man!" added   
Eggman's dark recruit, Darth Ultimate Life Form, who had some obvious   
breathing problems. "And look out for Sonikin Lightdasher. That fake, blue  
hedgehog is creating some serious disturbances in the G-Force."  
  
"G-Force, yeah yeah," snickered Boba Fang.  
  
"(HAAAAAHHUUUUUUHAAAHUUU) Don't get me started!"  
  
"Take his advice, you better not," cautioned Eggman.  
  
"OK, I'll take your word for it." Fang shrugged. "I'm on the job."  
  
Darth Ultimate Life Form shook his head and walked away. "Stacy,"  
he muttered solemnly. "I'll do it-- for you!"   
  
"Stacy?" Boba Fang wondered aloud. "Whatever happened to Maria?  
Who in Hoth is Stacy? An old girlfriend or somethin'?"  
  
"Even I do not know," replied Emperor Eggman the Hutt.  
  
"Wow. That guy's got issues for sure..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
The motley crew of the Millenium Floatie had finally reached the   
Death Egg and landed. If it was a normal space ship, the giant space   
station's security systems would have detected it and shot it down faster  
than you could say "Sonic Adventure-" but then, the Death Egg had never   
been designed to detect giant, flying inflatable pool toys.  
  
"Uhhhhh, what should we do now, boss?" asked Chewbigga as he and   
the other five stepped onto the landing dock and walked inside the main   
building.  
  
Knucksolo looked around. "Wow, this place is big," he said. "Let's  
split into three groups. Like the 'buddy system.' We meet back here in two  
hours. I'll go with Chewbigga, Sonikin goes with R2D2 Gamma, and Queen   
Amydala goes with Kitsune."  
  
"Hey!" whined Kitsune. "SONIKIN should go with ME and GAMMA should  
go with Amydala!"  
  
"Sorry," said Knucksolo. "I thought you you and Her Worship had   
taken a fancy to eachother!"  
  
"Ewww yech!" said Kitsune.   
  
"He's too frikkin YOUNG for me!" squealed Amydala. "And he's rude   
and crude and geeky and immature and besides, I like SONIKIN!"  
  
"Sorry," said Knucksolo. "Captain's orders. You're together. You   
kids will have to learn to get along."  
  
"Meet back here in two hours. Got that," said Sonikin.  
  
So the three pairs split paths.  
  
* * * * *  
  
About an hour later...  
  
"Here's anodder one!" said Chewbigga. "You know you're a redneck   
Jedi if you lost your hand in a lightsaber fight because you had to spit!"  
  
"Shhh!" whispered Knucksolo. "I appreciate your sense of humor,   
bud, but we have to keep quiet before we get more Badniks onto us." The   
two space pirates had jumped and punched and spin-dashed their way through  
more Badnik guards than they had ever seen before. Now they had finally   
made it to the prison quarters.   
  
"Where is she?" Chewbigga scratched his head. "I see nothing!"  
  
"Let me out!" cried a muffled voice within the wall.  
  
"Oh sweet! It's the rich Princess Tikal!" Knucksolo pulled back his  
fist and punched the wall, destroying it and freeing the damsel from the   
hidden wall. But the girl wasn't whom he expected her to be.  
  
"Free! Ahhh FINALLY someone rescued me!" cried the bat, jumping   
out and singing. "Hey sister, go sister, flow sister, soul sister..."  
  
"Wait a mintute..." growled Knucksolo. "Where is Princess Tikal   
and WHO in the galaxy are YOU?"  
  
The bat put her hands on her hips and stared at the red echidna   
haughtily. "For your information, I am Moulin Rouge. Tikal left the Sonic   
Wars project at the last minute because some flick with a bigger budget   
offered her a better contract. So without a princess to capture, your   
Emperor Eggman the Hutt resorted to teleporting me from my own movie, into   
this dumb show. It was not my choice to be here. I like musicals and   
romance movies, not this totally STUPID sci-fi stuff."  
  
Knucksolo felt insulted. "Hey! This is a great movie, sister!" he   
growled. "And it was not my choice to come rescue you either. I'm in this   
for the moolah!"   
  
"At any rate, I want to get out of here!" snapped Rouge, looking  
at the big purple cat. "Will SOMEBODY get this big hairy walking carpet   
out of my way?"  
  
"His name is Chewbigga, by the way, Your Worship," said Knucksolo.  
  
"No," Moulin Rouge sneered at him. "I was asking HIM about YOU!"  
  
"I have a feeling that this is going to be a long night..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
  
Kitsune and Amydala raced down a hallway, huffing and puffing,   
chased by Badniks. "Do you think the others found Princess Tikal yet?"  
gasped Tails.   
  
"No," said Amydala. "But these Badniks sure found us!"  
  
"Let's hide here!" The two young friends ran into a giant   
pinball machine to escape the robots. Don't ask me how a giant pinball   
machine got in the Death Egg- Emperor Eggman the Hutt was the mad  
scientist who desgined it, not me.  
  
The fox and the pink hedgehog dashed through the pinball machine   
but couldn't get enough rings. "I guess my G-Force powers aren't strong   
enough," lamented Kitsune as they fell through a trapdoor and into the   
Death Egg's garbage chute, encrusted with trash and flooded with green   
gooey stuff. [Play Casino Night Sewer theme] Spooky noises whistled   
though the dirty walls, and nasty smells of who-knows-what surrounded   
them. Scared, the two young adventurers stayed close together.   
  
* * * * * *  
  
Sonikin Lightdasher and R2D2 Gamma crept silently through the   
Death Egg, looking for any sign of Princess Tikal, or any of their other  
friends, for that matter. Then, Yodachao appeared again. "You are to   
become a Jedi Sprite," instructed Yodachao. "And learn the ways of the   
G-Force. Go to the Mystic Cave Zone!"   
Then, as suddenly as he had come, he left.   
  
* * * * * *   
  
Amydala clung to Kitsune. "This place is so lonely," she said.   
"I miss my home, the Little Planet. It's under attack and I have to   
defend it and here I am, stuck in a sewer with a weird little fox!"  
  
Kitsune held on to Amydala and shivered. "I miss my home too,"   
he said. "Westside Island. But whether or not we get out of here, I can't   
go back there anyways."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I was banished."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Ummm... for being clumsy!"  
  
"I can see that. What's that noise from above? Uh-oh. I think   
we have company!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
And they did. Chewbigga, Knucksolo, and Moulin Rouge were being   
chased by Badniks, too, when they came to a sudden dead end hanging over   
some putrid-smelling pit. Moulin Rouge couldn't stop running in time, slid   
over the edge, and lost her balance before she could fly. She screamed,   
but Knucksolo leaned over the edge and grabbed her by the paw. "Whew!"   
The bat breathed a sigh of relief. "That was close- where are the Badniks?"  
  
"Chewbigga is taking care of them," said Knucksolo over the sound   
of metal smashing. "You don't have to worry about their laser weapons now.   
My buddy is disarming them. And when he disarms them, he DISARMS them!"   
  
Moulin Rouge looked into the echidna's eyes until she realized   
everything was all right and caught herself. "You only rescued me so you   
could hold my hand!" she snapped.  
  
Knucksolo grinned. Because although he kept her from falling, he   
hadn't quite pulled her back UP. "Well if you're gonna be that way..."  
  
"NOOOOOO!"  
  
He let go, and Rouge fell down into the sewer.  
  
"Hey! What kind of a man are you?" bellowed Chewbigga as Knucksolo   
sat on the edge, laughing. "That's no way to treat a lady!" Then he kicked   
Knucksolo over the edge!  
  
"NOOOOO!"  
  
The big fat cat laughed. Then he heard Knucksolo's voice from   
down below yell, "What kind of loyal friend are you? You just violated   
your life-debt!  
  
"Violated my life-debt!? NOOOOO!" And then Chewbigga just jumped in!  
  
"Hey it's nice that you could join us," said Kitsune.   
  
"Ya we were getting lonely here," said Amydala. "Who are you?"  
  
"Someone who hates sci-fi movies for obvious reasons," sighed   
Moulin Rouge.  
  
"To make a long story short," said Knucksolo, "we found our princess   
but she wasn't quite what we were expecting. Anyways, let's get out of here.  
Kitsune, you fly up and carry Amydala with you. While Rouge and I will   
climb up and help Chewbigga along."  
  
* * * * *  
"Not for long," chuckled Boba Fang, looking at them through a   
security spy monitor. "Knucksolo, I have you trapped where I want you. I'll   
be sure to pull you out in time. But the rest of you... I have no use for   
the rest of you! I'll just let you stay in there and become part of the   
rest of the garbage!" He pushed a button on the control panel.  
  
  
"Oh shoot!" cried Amydala. "The walls are moving in!"  
  
"It wasn't my fault!" yelled Knucksolo.  
  
"It better not be your fault! At any rate, I'm going to use my   
communicator and try to contact R2D2 Gamma!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
"BBBRRRREEEEEEEPPPBERRRPPP!" squealed Gamma.  
  
"What?" asked Sonikin. "Are you getting a signal?"  
  
"BRRRRREEEEEEEPPPBEEEPPPPBOOOOOOOPP!"  
  
"Uh-oh! I don't know what you mean but forget it! We've got   
some trouble ahead!"  
  
Sure enough, Darth Ultimate Life Form came running toward them.   
"(HAAAAAAHUUUUUUHAAAAAAAAAHUUUUUUUU) You will die!" he snarled.  
  
"You will not destroy our cause!" yelled Sonikin, getting ready   
to fight.   
  
But Yodachao appeared. "No, Sonikin! You must not fight yet!"  
  
"I gotta! There's an unfinished score between us! I can't just   
back down like a coward!"  
  
"Your friends are in grave danger. You must help R2D2 Gamma attend   
to them while I distract Darth Ultimate Life Form!"   
  
Before the hedgehog could protest, little Yodachao flew over to   
Darth Ultimate Life Form and tried to attack him. Of course, the big tough   
dark hedgehog knocked him senseless.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOO!" cried Sonikin.   
  
But while Darth Ultimate Life Form was gloating over his victory,   
it gave Sonikin and R2D2 Gamma a chance to escape to the Death Egg control   
panel.  
  
"What were you talking about again?" asked Sonikin.  
  
"BRRREEEEEPAREEEEEEEPAROOOOORRROOORUUU!"  
  
"Locked in the garbage room with the wall closin in??? We have to   
stop it- somehow! Do you know how?"  
  
"RREEERREEBBBBRRRUPPP!"  
  
"Access code? And you don't know it? This is bad!" The blue   
hedgehog scratched his head and stared at the giant computer with its giant   
keyboard. "I guess I'll have to meditate on the G-Force to be enlightened   
of the nature of this code." He hummed and assumed the lotus position,   
sitting on the keyboard.   
  
Then the screen immediately said, "Access code complete.   
Operation Squish-Walls, Deactivated."  
  
Sonikin opened his eyes, smirked, and got off the keyboard. "See?   
This G-Force stuff really does work!" Then he walked over to check the   
security sound bugs. His friends were screaming their heads off. "Oh no!   
I was too late! They're being tortured and squished to death!"  
  
* * * * *   
  
But actually, Knucksolo, Moulin Rouge, Chewbigga, Amydala, and   
Kitsune were screaming and yelling for joy because the walls had finally   
stopped moving in on them. Yes, they were now standing in single-file   
because the walls were just that close to squishing them to a little furry   
pulp. But they HAD stopped. "Great!" yelped Kitsune. "Now we can find   
Sonikin and Gamma! We owe them another one of those life-debt thingies!"  
  
* * * * *  
But Sonikin still thought they were dying. The screaming and yelling   
that he heard was making him sick. "Let's face it," he sighed. "We have   
failed. Yodachao is dead. So are Knucksolo, Chewbigga, Amydala, and Kitsune.   
And Princess Tikal is nowhere. I bet the whole hologram thing was just a   
trap to get us over to the Death Egg so they could destroy us."  
  
The robot sadly beeped in agreement.  
  
"We have nothing else left but to honor Yodachao's wishes and go   
to the Mystic Cave Zone. Come on. Let's go find us a ship to steal. I think   
I know where the late Knucksolo's floatie is... and personally, I don't   
know how to operate a flying bath toy!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
The five friends managed to get out of the sewer and find a shower   
to get the yucky smell off. "Hey nice cologne, Knucks," teased Moulin Rouge.  
"Why you smell almost as good now as you did down there!'  
  
"I want my cutie pie back!" cried Queen Amydala. "Where is Sonikin?"  
  
"I can feel it in the G-Force," said Kitsune mystically. "He has   
already left the Death Egg, out on a personal mission alone, except that   
R2D2 Gamma is with him."  
  
"You mean both my friends are gone?" cried Amy. "So now I'm stuck   
with just a freaky fox and a big fat cat and two weird space rebels in love?"  
  
"HEY!!!" yelled Moulin Rouge and Knucksolo at the same time.  
  
"If you're too good for us, you don't have to come with us," said   
Knucksolo.  
  
"Yeah, Your Highness," sniffed Kitsune.  
  
"Well sorry I didn't mean no offense... hey, isn't anyone going to   
help me free my planet from the evil bad guys who are holding under their   
cruel tyranny?"  
  
"If you want a ride back to Station Square on my Millenium Floatie,   
you can come," said Knucksolo. "But I'm not stopping by the Little Planet,   
and no, I'm not going to help out in some revolution half a galaxy away.   
This has been my last do-gooder crusade in a long long time."  
  
"I'm with you all da way, friend," said Chewbigga, slapping his pal   
on the back.  
  
"I guess if Station Square has a decent film studio, I can take it,"   
sighed Moulin Rouge.  
  
"So nobody will help me free the Little Planet?" whispered Amydala.   
  
"I'll come along with you," volunteered Kitsune.  
  
"Anybody else? Anybody???"  
  
"No," said Rouge.  
  
"Oh all right, Kitsune. But how do we get out of here?"  
  
"Easy, Your Worship," said Kitsune. "Long ago, I built my own   
X-Wing but Emperor Eggman stole it and put it here. So now I'll just have   
to steal it back and fly out of here!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
So, it was just three friends now- Knucksolo, Moulin Rouge, and   
Chewbigga- having a mighty interesting time trying to get home in the   
Millenium Floatie. It was already strange enough for Rouge to be riding   
through space in an emerald-powered flying bath toy. But to be chased by   
Emperor Eggman the Hutt's badniks made it even stranger.   
  
Knucksolo was navigating through an asteriod field. He appeared to   
have an advantage. Whenever the droid ships hit an asteroid, they blew up.   
Whenever the Millenium Floatie hit an asteriod, they just bounced.   
  
"You idiot!" yelled Moulin Rouge. "This thing is gonna tear a leak   
if you don't get out of here!"  
  
"Shut up!" snarled Knucksolo. "We're almost in Mobius!"  
  
"Yeah. Shut up. I hear something," added Chewbigga.  
  
The three friends listened. Sure enough, one of the asteroids tore   
a leak through the Millenium Floatie and it was deflating, quick!  
  
"Nice going, red," said Rouge sarcastically. "Now I'm going to   
suffocate in space in a sci-fi movie with a big fat cat and a low-down,   
stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerfherder of an echidna. What a   
dumb way for a person to die!"  
  
"Don't worry. I have everything under control!" said Knucksolo with   
a shiver. "Maybe we're losing air here, but the Master Emerald will give it   
enough power to make an emergency landing!"  
  
The Millenium Floatie coasted through Mobius's atmosphere. "We can't   
make it to Station Square in time," said the red echidna. "We'll have to land  
somewhere in these desert ruins!" They skimmed over the ground, followed by   
the remaining Badnik ships. He entered some pyramid ruins and tried to find   
a place for them to hide. "Hey look! That strange-looking white cave with   
the red interior. Let's hide over in there!"  
  
Chewbigga and Moulin Rouge shrugged, and Knuckles quickly ducked   
inside the cave. Sure enough, that threw off the Badniks. "Now to get out   
and see if we can fix this hole..." said Knucksolo.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Back in the Death Egg...  
  
One of the Badniks arrived back to report to Boba Fang. "I escaped  
the asteroid field," he said, "and saw them landing in Mobius."  
  
"Really now? Good job, Buzzbomber."  
  
"But I lost them after that. I'm not sure where they'll be."  
  
"That's okay. I have connections. I have ways of finding out. I will   
set a trap for them, put away Knucksolo, and get the Master Emerald!   
Bwahahaha!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
  
Kitsune and Amydala escaped from the Death Egg in the Tornado,   
Kitsune's red X-Wing. "So how long have you known Sonikin?" asked Amydala.  
  
"We didn't get to be pals until he saved me from Perfect Chaos,"  
answered the young fox. "Then I owed him a life-debt."  
  
"Oh he's saved me before too!" squealed Amydala. "The first time it   
was when I was captured by Darth Metal and he came to rescue me. That was   
fun. It happens again and again. Don't tell him this, but I always get   
myself captured on purpose just so he can save me! It's so cool! He'll pick   
me up by the waist and carry me and..."  
  
"Yuck!" said Kitsune.  
  
"What's so yuck about love?"  
  
"I just thing the boy-girl stuff is gross!"  
  
"You need to grow up then."  
  
"You need to SHUT up, You Highness. Look! The Little Planet is in   
sight."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Chewbigga, Knucksolo, and Moulin Rouge got out to check out the   
hole on the outside of the Millenium Floatie. Actually, they had to crawl   
and flounder their way outside, because the air was all gone by then.  
  
"Wow, " said Moulin Rouge. "Are caves in sci-fi movies always this   
yucky?"  
  
"No, " said Knucksolo. "It's very weird. The terrain is very   
squishy. Nothing like I've ever experienced in all my adventures."  
  
"Well how are we going to get some air back in?" asked Chewbigga.  
  
"Knucksolo can blow it in! Because his head is FULL of it!" replied   
Rouge.  
  
"Wha-? Now WHO is the airhead around here?!" growled the echidna.  
  
"Quit flirting, you too," said the fat cat. "I'll do it!"  
  
He started to blow into the hole, and with nothing else to do, the   
bat and the echidna sat down together in the weird squishy red cave bottom.  
  
"So after Chewbigga blows the Millenium Floatie back up, how are   
we going to make the air stay inside?" asked Moulin Rouge.  
  
"That's easy, babe. Duct tape!" Knucksolo fished through the   
deflated Floatie and grabbed a role of duct tape. "Duct tape is foolproof.   
It can fix anything and anything."  
  
"Nu-uh. Nail polish is even better. It sticks anything together."  
  
"Well... do you think it can stick US together?" Knucksolo held   
her paw.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Hmmm. No nail polish? Oh well. I know something that sticks   
even better than nail polish OR duct tape." And then they kissed!  
  
"Maybe you two can seal the hole," said Chewbigga to the kissing   
couple, after he had blown enough air into the Floatie. Which was a few   
hours later!!!  
  
"Hmmm we'd rather stay inside. We'll just use duct tape. It   
should last us 'till our next stop," said Knucksolo. So he sealed the hole  
with duct tape. Then he got a call on his cell phone and answered it.   
"Lando Charmissian! Old buddy! What do you want?"  
  
"Just wondering what's going on, old pal. We haven't talked in a   
long time."  
  
"Wow. I thought you were mad at me, after I won that bet. I   
thought we weren't talking to eachother any more. Well I happen to be in   
some trouble. I'm stuck in the galaxy's weirdest cave and the Floatie just   
got a hole and we've sealed it with duct tape, I don't know how long it   
will last."  
  
"Do you need to get repairs?"  
  
"Heck yeah!"  
  
"Then you can just come here to the Sky Sanctuary on your way back   
to Station Square and get it fixed."  
  
"Really? OK. Thanks a million!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
  
Lando Charmissian shivered and hung up, keeping an eye on the gun   
being held up to him. "You're doing a good job so far, little bee..." said   
the weasel Boba Fang with a wicked smile.  
  
* * * * *   
  
"That should do it," said Knucksolo. "I think we're ready to fly!"  
  
"But what about da Badniks?" asked Chewbigga.  
  
"Yeah," agreed Rouge. "Are you sure it's safe to go outside the   
cave now?"  
  
Suddenly the ground began to shake and they heard a great echoing,   
"BBWOOOBWOOOO! BWOOOOBWOOOO! BBBRRRAAAAAACCKKK! BLECH!"  
  
Knucksolo turned pale. "Oh, fudge!"  
  
"What?" cried the other two.  
  
"This is no cave! WE'RE IN THE BELLY OF KING BOOM BOO!!!!!!!!!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
  
Sonikin Lightdasher and R2D2 Gamma reached the Mysterious Forest   
of Mobius, not knowing that three of their friends were also on the   
planet. Or that all five of them were alive, for that matter. "It's all   
my fault," said Sonikin bitterly as he tried to find a spot to pand. "If   
not for my dragging them all along in this quest to find a princess who   
doesn't exist, they wouldn't be dead."  
  
"BREEEEEEPBREEEEEPBREEEEEPP!"  
  
"What's that you're saying? A panic signal? AHHH!"  
  
Lost in his thoughts, Sonikin had also lost control. The space   
ship was crashing toward the ground. "Gamma! Quick! Jump!" The hedgehog   
leaped off, and R2D2 hovered after him. Then the space ship crashed into   
a swamp. "I guess we're stuck here, Gamma," said Sonikin. "Gamma???"  
  
The poor robot had landed in the water! Suddenly, a water monster   
decided it wanted a metal snack and pulled it under!  
  
"Oh no! Not Chaos again!"  
  
"BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" R2D2 Gamma went flying through   
the air and landed next to Sonikin, mucky and dirty but in one piece.   
  
"I guess Chaos can't digest you. Last time I saw that thing was when  
I rescued Kitsune from it, outside of Station Square. Or at least he THOUGHT   
I rescued him. Or was it something else that made Chaos disappear?"  
  
"Indeed the G-Force is very mysterious!"  
  
"What? Who said that?"  
  
A familiar face appeared. "Cat got your tongue?"  
  
"Yodachao! I thought you were..."  
  
"A help sprite never dies. But enough of that. Become a Jedi Sprite   
must you, and much to learn have you. Time for school! Let me see your   
backpack!" Yodachao grabbed Sonikin's backpack and began rummaging through   
his stuff. "A Sonic the Hedgehog Super Special #15 comic book, an old Game   
Gear, a portable Dreamcast, Sonic Adventure 2, Sonic Advance in a Game Boy   
Advance, a video of Sonic Anime, a Sonic plushie...What? No school supplies?   
What kind of a Jedi Sprite Trainee are you?"  
  
"Hey! That's mine!"  
  
"As a matter of fact, maybe I should start reading some of those   
comics and playing the games myself." He continued digging through Sonikin's   
backpack.  
  
Sonikin sighed and for a brief second, wished that Darth Ultimate   
Life Form really HAD killed Yodachao. This will be a long day, he thought.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"AHHHHHHH!" The three fugitives screamed as they quickly flew out   
of King Boom Boo's mouth. The huge desert ghost king wasn't very happy about   
that.   
  
"BRAAAAAAAAACK! BWOOOOMBWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
But the Millenium Floatie escaped, and Knucksolo steered toward the   
Sky Sanctuary up ahead. Soon they were there. [Play Sky Sanctuary music] As   
he landed, Knucksolo saw his old rival Lando Charmissian the bee fly over to   
welcome them. He couldn't help but feel suspicious. It wasn't like Lando to   
be this nice to him.   
  
"Knucks! How is the biggest rogue in the galaxy?" buzzed Charmissian.   
"Ooooohhh! What lovely lady do we have here?" The bee flew up to Rogue and   
held her paw. "I'm Lando Charmissian. Welcome to the Sky Sanctuary. Whom do   
I have the pleaure of meeting?"  
  
"I'm Moulin Rouge. I'm supposed to be in a musical romance movie, but   
somehow I was stranded in this weird sci-fi show. Somehow, I'm actually   
beginning to enjoy some aspects of it." She looked at Knucksolo and winked.   
Knucksolo just looked jealous.  
  
"And I'm sure we'll enjoy eachother too, babe. Do you mind joining   
us for refreshments while my men repair your bath toy?"  
  
Knucksolo motioned to Rouge, who said, "Excuse me for a moment. I   
guess Knucks and Chewbigga want to talk."  
  
The three friends whispered to eachother. "I've known Charmissian   
for a long time," said Knucksolo. "In fact he used to own the Millenium   
Floatie. But he lost a bet to me and now I'm its owner and guardian. It's   
not like him to be this way. Let's say we pass on the refreshments?"  
  
"Hah! You're just jealous, Knuckles! Lando is a very nice man to give   
us his hospitality!" said Moulin Rouge.  
  
"Yeah man!" added Chewbigga, patting his big belly. "Look how much   
weight I've lost on our adventure! I'm starvin,' man!"  
  
"Oh all right. But I have a BAD feeling about this!"  
  
The three friends walked into Charmissian's mansion, but Boba Fang   
and Darth Ultimate Life Form were already inside, waiting for them!  
  
"No!" yelled Moulin Rouge.   
  
"Seize them!" barked Boba Fang.  
  
"You traitor!" yelled Knucksolo, lunging at Lando Charmissian.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't really mean it. I had no other choice!"  
  
Boba Fang held his gun at Knucksolo, while Chewbigga and Rouge tried   
to fight off the Badniks. But all three were outnumbered and overpowered.   
  
"HAAAAAHHHUUUUU!HAAAAAWWHHUUUUH! Now the Master Emerald will be   
ours!" gasped Darth Ultimate Life Form.  
  
"And the reward will be mine!" chuckled Boba Fang. "Instead of fixing   
your ship, Knucksolo, we have stolen the Master Emerald from it. Now,   
Knucksolo, we have no use for you except to make a plaque for Emperor Eggman   
the Hutt to display in his trophy room! Guards! Bring the roboticizer in!"  
  
"NOOOOOO!" cried Rouge.  
  
"NOOOOOO!" cried Chewbigga. "My pal! They can't do this to you!"  
  
Knucksolo hugged them both. "Too many years living in the fast lane,"   
he said. "I guess I've hit the end of the road. Chewbigga, take care of Rouge   
for me."   
  
As the Badniks pushed him toward the robot machine, Moulin Rouge   
cried and said, "I love you!"  
  
"Like duh! I know that!" Then they shoved him inside and slammed the   
door shut.  
  
  
To Be Continued... 


End file.
